KILL SIX BILLION DEMONS (NSFW) - NOW A FRUITY WEBCOMIC

**ODK** · 04-16-2012, 12:18 PM

THIS QUEST IS A SORORITY THRILLER/ACTION ADVENTURE/PUZZLE GAME/HELL/DARK FANTASY/WESTERN/ROMANCE WHERE THE MAIN CHARACTER MAY OR MAY NOT DIE INSTANTLY

THE CHOICE IS YOURS

FORMSPRING, IN WHICH YOU MAY QUERY ABOUT THIS MISADVENTURE: http://www.formspring.me/ORBITALDROPKICK

Here lies a DAEMONIAC. You know through your training as a scholar of the METAREALM it is a book of reference provided by ZHUM-AKUL, LORD OF REFERENCES.

---ADVENTURE START----

You are 21 years old (says so on your drivers license, which is totally legit), and you just got your hair redone (it looks amazing by the way). You are assistant treasury secretary in charge at your sorority, ALPHA PHI OMEGA. You are wearing a totally hot top you just got a few days ago but you really hope doesn't make your hips look big.

You are currently sitting uncomfortably in the basement pool clubhouse/spa of your sorority house. There is a PARTY going on, and you are totally NOT self conscious about all the people here you don't know. It smells like chlorine and stale beer, which is ok, because you totally get smashed and party ALL the time. You tell yourself again you are a fun and peppy girl.

You don't know why but you feel a sudden urge to COMPLETE an action.

What do you do? You could keep, like, reading your magazines. You could walk around a bit I guess and maybe try and find your friends (you totally have friends). You could maybe swim (ew).

One more thing. Your first name is Allison. But what is your last?

**Whimbrel** · 04-16-2012, 12:26 PM

Zach

>Skim magazines

**Solaris** · 04-16-2012, 12:30 PM

Ruth

>Go talk to booooys, that's what girls do here right? That or talk to girls? Oh gooooooshh
But yes.... YES THAT IS WHAT PEOPLE DO
TALK
aaaaaah

**ODK** · 04-16-2012, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by Solaris

Ruth

>Go talk to booooys, that's what girls do here right? That or talk to girls? Oh gooooooshh
But yes.... YES THAT IS WHAT PEOPLE DO
TALK
aaaaaah

Your name is Allison Ruth.

You think about talking to boys. Then immediately wish you didn't.

Oh my god you're freaking out a little bit now. All those stunning eyes, judging you. All that gross sweat and chiseled jaws and stubble, rising up out of the gloom like some terrible dark edifice of doom, proclaiming your inferiority.

You quickly decide against it. Maybe you do something... else instead. You could keep reading magazines, maybe try and find a quieter spot. You could walk around a bit and try and get all these chiseled visages out of your mind. The sky is really the limit. That's what you keep telling yourself.

**Solaris** · 04-16-2012, 01:55 PM

Do you think you could like, slink away somewhere, find someone you know?
You.... you do know at least one person at this party right?

**ODK** · 04-16-2012, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by Solaris

Do you think you could like, slink away somewhere, find someone you know?
You.... you do know at least one person at this party right?

Originally Posted by Whimbrel

Zach

>Skim magazines

You suppose you could leave your CLEVERLY HIDDEN READING behind and go find one of your totally nice, not fake, and totally friendly and sincere sorority sisters.

I mean, if you wanted to be like, social and stuff. Which I guess you're supposed to be because you are so fun and peppy

**Solaris** · 04-16-2012, 02:42 PM

If this ain't really your thing why are you even here?
What did you expect?

Anyway, you could probably like, take the book and stuff, and try to find somewhere that no one will bother you?
(Although that could either paint you as a frigid bitch or as someone Oh So Higher Than Thou, both of which could draw some boooooys toward you o: )

**Whimbrel** · 04-16-2012, 02:47 PM

Man you should like, take your magazines and stuff with you and go see if there's something to eat?

**saddestsad** · 04-16-2012, 03:31 PM

Wipe the sweat off of your skin.

**Morphimus** · 04-16-2012, 03:49 PM

> Screw the books! CANNONBALL!

**Pemm** · 04-16-2012, 04:08 PM

Sassy sorority sister who has "adopted" you: Appear.

**ODK** · 04-16-2012, 04:18 PM

Originally Posted by Solaris

If this ain't really your thing why are you even here?
What did you expect?

Anyway, you could probably like, take the book and stuff, and try to find somewhere that no one will bother you?
(Although that could either paint you as a frigid bitch or as someone Oh So Higher Than Thou, both of which could draw some boooooys toward you o: )

Originally Posted by OrangeAipom

Wipe the sweat off of your skin.

Originally Posted by Whimbrel

Man you should like, take your magazines and stuff with you and go see if there's something to eat?

You, like, resolve to go find somewhere nice and quiet to enjoy your Nietz--- Nails Monthly and Hair weekly magazines. Wiping the sweat off your skin would be good too, because that would totally make you break out.

You resolve to go to your refuge since high school... the bathroom. Totally. There might even be girls in there that you can talk about... boys with.

As you walk by you can hear some of your, um, totally sincere and friendly sisters snickering about you. This is totally ok because you guys are bffs forever and you LOVE them and the rest of ALPHA PHI OMEGA. There's nothing you have to prove to them, or yourself. Or whatever.

They're snickering about some kind of freaky tattoo you have. Which weirds you out a bit.

You are confident they are talking about someone else because you have like, never, ever had a tattoo in your life.

You head into the bathroom, resolved to read quietly. People are still staring at you weird though.

**Morphimus** · 04-16-2012, 04:31 PM

> ==>

**King Cobalt** · 04-16-2012, 04:34 PM

> Suddenly your back feels a bit itchy. Scratch it.

**ODK** · 04-16-2012, 04:56 PM

Originally Posted by Morphimus

> ==>

You enter the Bathroom

It's a pretty nice bathroom all in all. There's a mirror here where you could like, fix your makeup and stuff. Maybe try and get the rest of that sweat off.

There's two pretty cheap CONDOM DISPENSERS which you totally have used ALL THE TIME in your partying.

There are three stalls. You're fairly sure one of them is occupied, but it would be like, totally rude to point that out. It's pretty quiet in here at least, except for a weird dripping sound. What do you do?

**ODK** · 04-16-2012, 05:06 PM

Originally Posted by Sandvich King

> Suddenly your back feels a bit itchy. Scratch it.

You oblige. Your back is pretty itchy for some weird reason, wow. Must have been sunburn or something, you don't tan well. You tried that fake tanning stuff and it turns out you were allergic, eww. ):

I guess you'll always be pale and scrawny and nobody will like .... anyway.

You also realize this swimsuit makes your butt look HUGE and its riding up really bad.

**CryCold** · 04-16-2012, 05:07 PM

> Sleuth out dripping Forthwith!

**Whimbrel** · 04-16-2012, 05:54 PM

Investigate dripping

**Varkarrus** · 04-16-2012, 06:13 PM

Suddenly decide to give up on boys and become asexual for life.

**ODK** · 04-16-2012, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by CryCold

> Sleuth out dripping Forthwith!

Um, you totally don't know what sleuthing means because you've never read the complete Sherlock Holmes including the extended commentary and introduction edition which you got totally cheap off Amazon because you are fun and peppy and not some introverted nerd. But you check out the dripping sound anyway.

It was the faucet. Duh.

But now you turn it off, there's something else that appears to be a bit louder, coming from that stall you were pretty sure was occupied. And now you're pretty sure it's occupied by two people because the sounds coming out of it are something you totally know about because you are totally NOT A VIRGIN.

Well this is awkward.

Um. How are you going to approach this one?

**ODK** · 04-16-2012, 06:27 PM

Originally Posted by Moldova in Eurovision 2011

Suddenly decide to give up on boys and become asexual for life.

This has always been something you've considered.

**Whimbrel** · 04-16-2012, 06:49 PM

Leave before they notice you

HURRY SCURRY

**PersonPerson** · 04-16-2012, 07:04 PM

Stand right in front of the stall like a stalker.

**Mustavus** · 04-16-2012, 09:43 PM

Stand right inside the stall, like a more efficient stalker.

**Pemm** · 04-16-2012, 10:02 PM

Realize that it's a Monday.

Act accordingly.

**ODK** · 04-16-2012, 10:37 PM

You like, totally ponder a dizzying array of possibilities. You could run back to the party. You could stand outside the stall like a creeper. You could totally scream at the top of your lungs in a horrified attempt at humor. Frankly, you're a little paralyzed. Do you knock? Do you cough and thereby acknowledge your presence making the situation about 50 times more awkward?

Unfortunately your body, as it has been consistently doing since the 7th grade, betrays you again by flinging you right at the door in a futile attempt to combine all three of your bizarre and seemingly random impulses.

**ODK** · 04-17-2012, 01:27 AM

Um, wait. Nevermind. Looks like you slipped. On all this

BLOOD

**PersonPerson** · 04-17-2012, 01:31 AM

Do a taste test to see if it's really blood.
Look up dramatically.

Ed · 04-17-2012, 01:54 AM

CALM YO TITS

**98714123340** · 04-17-2012, 02:46 AM

Flip out.

**Solaris** · 04-17-2012, 05:45 AM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**dragonpaul99** · 04-17-2012, 09:35 AM

It's probably just a prank by the other sorority girls. But whatever you do, don't make an ass of yourself.

**Whimbrel** · 04-17-2012, 10:08 AM

Put those shades on so no one can see how much you are freaking out

**ODK** · 04-17-2012, 04:17 PM

Originally Posted by 98714123340

Flip out.

Originally Posted by Solaris

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD. You are seriously, like, no joking flipping your shit right now. Oh man, your sisters are going to be SO PISSSED. oh man, you better not get it on your top or itll take ages to wash out how is there so much blood here oh my god is that heavy breathing? there is something moving up there. You should probably KEEP LOOKING AT THE FLOOR DON'T LOOK UP OH MY GOD

Not only did you just walk in on someone getting it on but there's some freaky cosmo shit going on here

you prepare to freak out

god now you're sweating again, you really are freaking out and its going to rune your makeup

Originally Posted by Ed

CALM YO TITS

Originally Posted by Whimbrel

Put those shades on so no one can see how much you are freaking out

Y-YOU'RE RIGHT. COOL AND PEPPY AND FUN.

IGNORE HEAVY BREATHING. GOTTA ACCESSORIZE. GOT TO LOOK CALM.

ok, you put on your really expensive sunglasses that you bought because you're PRETTY CERTAIN it would make you fit in- I mean, make you more popu- I mean, look good with your outfit. You feel better. You're in control. You MEANT to do that. Heavy breathing and that vague gurgling sound doesn't mean anything.

Originally Posted by dragonpaul99

It's probably just a prank by the other sorority girls. But whatever you do, don't make an ass of yourself.

Duh! You've always thought about dumping a gallon of blood in the bathrooms just to mess with your BFFs.

Originally Posted by PersonPerson

Do a taste test to see if it's really blood.

Sleuth time!

It's blood alright. Gross.

**ODK** · 04-17-2012, 04:20 PM

Ok there are definitely some freaky noises going on now. M-m aybe you should look ...holyshitwhatareyoudoingherewhatthefuckisgoingon NOPE! Not going to look up. going to keep sleuthing. Gosh, this heavy breathing is really, like, ragging on your style.

what could be the source of all this blood? Um, a silly sorority girl like you wouldn't really know, maybe you have to sleuth further! Sleuth FURTHER INTO IGNORANCE

**Solaris** · 04-17-2012, 04:22 PM

...why do you know what blood tastes like?

also, really, you just discovered a bunch of blood, you are a blond, this is a school setting
EVERYTHING POINTS TO TWO THINGS
ONE
YOU ARE IN A HORROR MOVIE
TWO
YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING TO DIE FIRST

As such, you must fulfill your role as first (or first female if there is a black guy somewhere) person to die and scream out your little lungs.

**Solaris** · 04-17-2012, 04:23 PM

OH MY GOD THOSE ARE TENTACLES WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING RUN
RUN NOW
CUT THE ACT, CUT THE CRAP, JUST
RUN

**98714123340** · 04-17-2012, 04:25 PM

Look up.

**PersonPerson** · 04-17-2012, 04:30 PM

Blindly crawl foward.

I've seen enough hen- nope.
NOPE NOPE NOPE.

**Askia** · 04-17-2012, 05:11 PM

maybe theres a murder weapon somewhere on the floor keep looking

**ODK** · 04-17-2012, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by Askia

maybe theres a murder weapon somewhere on the floor keep looking

YOU CANNOT SLEUTH HARD ENOUGH, THERE IS JUST A LOT OF BLOOD, UNLESS BLOOD IS THE MURDER WEAPON. DEVIOUS.

Originally Posted by Solaris

OH MY GOD THOSE ARE TENTACLES WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING RUN
RUN NOW
CUT THE ACT, CUT THE CRAP, JUST
RUN

oh god that noise, that smell, you get up, postponing your SLEUTHING SESSION, there's no way you can continue it with these DANK VIBES

Unfortunately, as you are trying to figure out a crawling/sliding combination to make your exit, you

Originally Posted by 98714123340

Look up.

there is no sleuthing, only the smell of blood and bile and a wet smacking sound

and heavy breathing

your shades fly off, you really wish they didn't

and you slip

again

**Varkarrus** · 04-17-2012, 05:45 PM

This reminds me of that music video with those teens breaking into the pool at night and everyone got killed.

**98714123340** · 04-17-2012, 05:54 PM

GTFO

**PersonPerson** · 04-17-2012, 05:58 PM

[Woo. Someone finally made a reference to that.]
Run/Crawl away quickly. Screaming.

**Doofaeus** · 04-17-2012, 06:50 PM

Tattoo that you definitely don't have: Activate tentacle monster repellent magic

**PyroThermal** · 04-17-2012, 07:05 PM

Defend thyself with the arcane arts originating from the tattoo on your back that you totally don't have.

**creestaleen** · 04-17-2012, 07:28 PM

Scratch that persistent itch on your back because that's the most logical thing to do.

**Xander** · 04-17-2012, 07:50 PM

FLEE! TENTACLES ARE BAD ENOUGH FOR HOT BABES! TENTACLES AND BLOOD IS WORSE!

**Zombiitwo** · 04-17-2012, 08:21 PM

Slightly NSFW, I suppose.

Just kidding, looks like a great adventure!
>Realize that this is just like the Lovecraft you were reading last week.

**Varkarrus** · 04-17-2012, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by 98714123340

GTFO

This. Unless you were referring to me in which case no.

**ODK** · 04-17-2012, 09:13 PM

I AM AT NO LIBERTY TO DISCUSS MY TOTALLY inconspicuous INFLUENCES.

ALSO I AM A CAT TYPING IS HARD

**ODK** · 04-17-2012, 10:31 PM

Originally Posted by Zombiitwo

Just kidding, looks like a great adventure!
>Realize that this is just like the Lovecraft you were reading last week.

Oh, that's a relief, it's just Melissa, your Big Sis.

Hey Melissa! You say feebly. It's hard to get around the bubbling, gurgling sound, and the fact that you're about to probably die and your back is REALLY itchy.

YGHHOL SSNTHL ZZGOTL BALZZ says melissa, spittle dripping from her lips

You could do the, um, blonde sorority girl thing and probably like, die or get molested like in all the movies or the books or something or curl up and cry and hope that something would save you and then probably die anyway because all the hot blondes die first.

But the terrible secret is...

You're not REALLY blonde.

Originally Posted by Xander

FLEE! TENTACLES ARE BAD ENOUGH FOR HOT BABES! TENTACLES AND BLOOD IS WORSE!

YOU BOOK IT. FUCK THIS DUMB BLONDE SHIT.

**Redux** · 04-17-2012, 10:34 PM

>Say it's incredibly unlady-like to drool

**Pemm** · 04-17-2012, 11:10 PM

IA IA CTHULHU FHTAGN!

**ODK** · 04-17-2012, 11:14 PM

Originally Posted by Redux

>Say it's incredibly unlady-like to drool

You consider quipping a one liner but you're too scared shitless to even, um, try something like that

Oh god. This is social pressure of a whole new kind that you probably didn't need.

MAYBE YOU CAN SLEUTH YOUR WAY BACK TO IGNORANCE AGAIN

but you lost your sleuthing glasses

**ODK** · 04-17-2012, 11:15 PM

Originally Posted by Doofaeus

Tattoo that you definitely don't have: Activate tentacle monster repellent magic

Originally Posted by PyroThermal

Defend thyself with the arcane arts originating from the tattoo on your back that you totally don't have.

Originally Posted by creestaleen

Scratch that persistent itch on your back because that's the most logical thing to do.

WELL THIS IS, UM, A LOT OF FUN.

You consider how your life has gone in about 2 minutes from trying to find a nice, quiet place to avoid social press- READ QUIETLY to the situation you're currently in where you're probably going to die from some horrible rapey japanese fantasy.

God, this is totally unfair. You JUST did your hair too.

AND YOUR FACE IS FREAKING ITCHING NOW. OF ALL TIMES.

**Xander** · 04-17-2012, 11:41 PM

Grab stand and charge?

**Redux** · 04-17-2012, 11:59 PM

> Scratch itch, you wouldn't want to go out with an itch you could never put at ease, right?

**PersonPerson** · 04-18-2012, 12:09 AM

Scratch your face.

Ed · 04-18-2012, 12:16 AM

> Get the shades, quick!

**98714123340** · 04-18-2012, 12:33 AM

GO HOME

**Lawface** · 04-18-2012, 12:53 AM

Unlock hidden magical lazer powers.

**Varkarrus** · 04-18-2012, 12:54 AM

UnfUnfUnf> Not be sex
Be a monster

that groans funny

like that DrrDrrDrr thing.

**cryptidWrangler** · 04-18-2012, 02:11 AM

>Abscond.

**Solaris** · 04-18-2012, 07:09 AM

YOU ARE SURROUNDED
BLACK OUT AND BE SAVED BY THE FORESHADOWED INSANE MAJICK

**Askia** · 04-18-2012, 07:54 AM

confess you arent blond its the only way to save yourself

**Lurkmeister** · 04-18-2012, 12:34 PM

Huzzah for creepy music videos!

That itch looks kind of like a monocle. A magic monocle.

Monocle: inexplicably teleport host an indeterminate distance away, keeping host in local area yet removing host from circumstance of being surrounded. Inexplicably. Replace space previously occupied by host with chlorine tab powder and pool salt.
Alternatively, should eldritch consensus determine the previous hypothetical action be unfavorable, combust the stale beer of host's peers, redirecting their priorities from host to preserving beer and not being on fire. Creatures generally like not being on fire.

**KibbleSalad** · 04-18-2012, 03:05 PM

> crescendo of badass background guitar riffs
> dormant powers, activate!

**Morphimus** · 04-18-2012, 03:32 PM

> Use those eldritch powers already!

**Medea** · 04-18-2012, 03:46 PM

> Flip the f**k out.

**ODK** · 04-18-2012, 04:03 PM

(UPDATE INC)

**PyroThermal** · 04-18-2012, 04:09 PM

> Teleport with your newly found itchy places.

**ODK** · 04-18-2012, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by Xander

Grab stand and charge?

Originally Posted by Solaris

YOU ARE SURROUNDED
BLACK OUT AND BE SAVED BY THE FORESHADOWED INSANE MAJICK

Originally Posted by Medea

> Flip the f**k out.

You start flipping the fuck out.

YOU DESPERATELY TRY TO HOLD YOUR BREATHE IN ORDER BLACK OUT, HOPING THAT MAYBE SOME MAGICAL POWERS WILL SAVE YOU, LIKE IN THE BOOKS YOU TOTALLY DON'T READ. Little hurried gasps keep sneaking out though, the bastards.

You're not very good at holding your breathe though. Or swimming, or fighting, or anything really. Wow, this took a turn for the worse pretty fast

Originally Posted by Askia

confess you arent blond its the only way to save yourself

Oh god no, everyone would judge you like CRAZY (despite being all tentacley and squirmy) and you would never live out the rest of your admittedly short life with a reputation as a dye job. NATURAL BLONDE. FUN AND PEPPY. ALL THE TIME.

**ODK** · 04-18-2012, 05:53 PM

Originally Posted by Morphimus

> Use those eldritch powers already!

Originally Posted by PyroThermal

> Teleport with your newly found itchy places.

Originally Posted by KibbleSalad

> crescendo of badass background guitar riffs
> dormant powers, activate!

You try to wish that you have some kind of hidden magical power bestowed on you, but you can't, because it's really evident that you are just an ordinary literature lovi- dumb sorority girl with a DYEJO- natural blonde locks and this is clearly beyond you ohgod all the mess and the noise and what is going on. THIS IS INSANE. THIS IS INSANEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

You are now the EYE OF GOG-AGOG.

You are disappointed.

You have to say this isn't one of the more impressive hosts you've had. In fact, she doesn't appear to even be a 0 level metasoul. Her ability to fight regular cacodaemoneia is really quite pitiful, and she's pretty close to passing out. I mean, these are level 5 cacadaemonia. Come the fuck on.

**ODK** · 04-18-2012, 05:56 PM

Originally Posted by Lurkmeister

Huzzah for creepy music videos!

That itch looks kind of like a monocle. A magic monocle.

Monocle: inexplicably teleport host an indeterminate distance away, keeping host in local area yet removing host from circumstance of being surrounded. Inexplicably. Replace space previously occupied by host with chlorine tab powder and pool salt.
Alternatively, should eldritch consensus determine the previous hypothetical action be unfavorable, combust the stale beer of host's peers, redirecting their priorities from host to preserving beer and not being on fire. Creatures generally like not being on fire.

You know what, you would love to, but this isn't some legendary hero or level 27 metademonic entity you are usually used to. This is some dumb bimbo with a literature fetish. This is usually the kind of person that gets sacrificed to placate interstellar star gods, not fight them.

She doesn't have any dimensional manipulation abilities, fire breathe, pan-daemonic shapeshifting or anything. You don't know how she gets up in the morning.

**ODK** · 04-18-2012, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by cryptidWrangler

>Abscond.

You know what, you'd fucking love to, if this dumb bitch new anything about infinite devil symbols or something like that.

Hell, even a mirrored surface. You'd do anything for a mirrored surface right now. Now you're stuck in some backwater dimension with some airhead host body that's about to get torn a new one. But you bet they don't even have scrying mirrors here.

I mean, all you'd need is ONE FUCKING MIRRORED SURFACE and you could peace out back to the outer realms and do your job that you were summoned to do

SOMETHING SHINY EVEN, OR REFLECTIVE. OR SOMETHING. God you hate this job.

What the hell do you do you and your bimbo buddy do now?

**Medea** · 04-18-2012, 06:02 PM

> Eye: Glow menacingly. Maybe those guys will think your host has pink eye and take a nice step away.

**brainfree** · 04-18-2012, 06:09 PM

Grab those shades! Its your only hope.

**Redux** · 04-18-2012, 06:10 PM

> Gurrl, you best be flailin yo arms around, donchyu know that's the best solution to everythang? (Girl: Flail arms)

> Gurrl, if that works out you best be prepared to look absolutely STUNNIN. (Girl: If that works, pick up your shades so you don't have to look at these things)

**Lurkmeister** · 04-18-2012, 06:30 PM

Allison: Grab your shades. It's, like, imperative that you grab those shades. Erm, I mean, important! Imperative? What does that even mean?

Gog: The floor looks shiny. Or wet. Which counts as shiny.

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche: KILL GOD
Specifically, an interstellar star god.

**98714123340** · 04-18-2012, 07:21 PM

It might be matted but sunglasses are reflective.

**ODK** · 04-18-2012, 10:06 PM

Originally Posted by brainfree

Grab those shades! Its your only hope.

Originally Posted by Redux

> Gurrl, you best be flailin yo arms around, donchyu know that's the best solution to everythang? (Girl: Flail arms)

> Gurrl, if that works out you best be prepared to look absolutely STUNNIN. (Girl: If that works, pick up your shades so you don't have to look at these things)

ohgodohgodohgod

you have a strange compulsion... You don't even know what's going on anymore, but all you know is you totally HAVE TO GO OUT IN STYLE. YOU DIDN'T SPEND $300 ON THOSE FUCKING SHADES TO NOT SWAG SUPER HARD WHILE YOU DIE.

YOU LUNGE.

Originally Posted by Lurkmeister

Allison: Grab your shades. It's, like, imperative that you grab those shades. Erm, I mean, important! Imperative? What does that even mean?

Gog: The floor looks shiny. Or wet. Which counts as shiny.

HOPE

THIS

WORKS

you are the EYE OF GOG AGOG. You are pleased. Now THIS is something you can work with.

**ODK** · 04-18-2012, 10:08 PM

you and your host go elsewhere

at least that's where you think she wants to go, though she doesn't seem particularly familiar with the process of dimensional translocation

oh well, break time.

You are Allison again

you are caught in a millisecond singularity of pain

there is a faint smell of ozone and a billion panes of fragile reality shatter simultaneously

**Bloddyredcommie** · 04-18-2012, 10:09 PM

Eye of Gog Agog: Metanuke the site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

**ODK** · 04-18-2012, 10:31 PM

YOU ARE ALLISON RUTH

You may or may not be a NATURAL BLONDE. You DEFINITELY DON'T have a thing for literature. You are FUN AND PEPPY. You enjoy sunglasses. You are the assistant treasury secretary at your sorority.

You are also an interdimensional traveler.

You might die instantly.

And at some point.

You will probably have to

**ODK** · 04-18-2012, 10:31 PM

**Bloddyredcommie** · 04-18-2012, 10:32 PM

Wait...what...didn't you just die in an explosion of viscera?

**ODK** · 04-18-2012, 10:33 PM

SURPRISE THAT IS THE REAL ADVENTURE TITLE.

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK SO FAR. I AM GOING TO HOPEFULLY HAVE THIS MOVED TO THE MAIN FORUM

THERE WILL BE A SMALL UPDATE BREAK WHILE THE AUTHOR DRINKS COFFEE AND NURSES HIS ACHING PAWS

(also Allison definitely didn't die, clearly you are unfamiliar with transcranial ego ballistics that are involved with dimension hopping. There's a lot of perfectly normal body exploding)

**Godbot** · 04-18-2012, 10:34 PM

> MIGHT WANNA GET STARTED ON THAT.

**98714123340** · 04-18-2012, 10:37 PM

I will miss her.

> Go find someone more suitable.

**Redux** · 04-18-2012, 10:57 PM

WAIT YOU'RE TELLING ME "YOU ARE A GIRL" ISN'T THE ACTUAL TITLE!? BLASPHEMY. MY ENTIRE LIFE SINCE I READ THIS IS A LIE.

But yeah, this is a pretty cool development. I enjoy what's been happening to now.

**CryCold** · 04-18-2012, 11:01 PM

>Authorcat: Drink coffee faster.
>Allison: Shouldn't you be killing demons by now?

**Godbot** · 04-18-2012, 11:01 PM

Originally Posted by 98714123340

I will miss her.

> Go find someone more suitable.

Pretty sure Gog agog is still with Allison.

**Lurkmeister** · 04-18-2012, 11:10 PM

...
I like where this is going.

Not that I'm implying that this thread is about to explode into thread-stuff viscera, reform and start over elsewhere, like how Gog and Allison just did when going elsewhere.
Hmm. Is that what happens to threads when they move forums / sections? Painfully explode and appear elsewhere by use of demonic magics?

But that's off topic.

**Morphimus** · 04-18-2012, 11:25 PM

> Allison: Fondly regard the title above your head.

**pikajens** · 04-18-2012, 11:48 PM

Wait Allison, if you just transported yourself to another dimension for the first time, how do you know all of this??

**saddestsad** · 04-19-2012, 12:04 AM

PUT SOME CLOTHES ON YOU BITCH

YOU COULD FREEZE OUT IN THE WHITE VOID

**Pemm** · 04-19-2012, 01:17 AM

THIS THREAD IS GLORIOUS

SUMMON ELDRITCH WEAPONS FROM BEYOND THE PALE

Ed · 04-19-2012, 03:20 AM

(I think this is pretty neat so far and it'll be even cooler if it goes in a different direction than that one music video, the art is real cool too!).

**kittentoes** · 04-19-2012, 03:23 AM

(God I love this adventure!)

==> Fondly regard thread title.

**Doofaeus** · 04-19-2012, 04:48 AM

Utter clever pun about situation that just happened;

YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH

**Medea** · 04-19-2012, 07:04 AM

> Compare current situation with that fantasy novel a blonde like you HAS NOT RECENTLY READ.

**RPGeesus** · 04-19-2012, 12:12 PM

> Maybe this started when you checked out the UNSPEAKABLE ELDRITCH TOME from the campus librar- WAIT, you mean WHATS AN ELDRITCH?

**Armok** · 04-19-2012, 02:04 PM

> Girl: find more suitable attire.

**PersonPerson** · 04-19-2012, 02:08 PM

Her attire is perfectly fine for demon killing. :<

**Mibbs** · 04-19-2012, 02:16 PM

Jump into the pool

**Grug** · 04-19-2012, 02:28 PM

There are 7 billion humans on earth right now. Does that mean 1 in every 7 will be friendly?

**ODK** · 04-19-2012, 05:33 PM

(made minor updates to title post, short update inc, thread successfully moved to main forum and tagged nsfw for NATURALLY SUPER FREAKING WEIRD)

**PersonPerson** · 04-19-2012, 05:44 PM

Congratulations. This calls for an emoticon.
:D

**Cyan the Red** · 04-19-2012, 05:58 PM

> better get started on that. 6 billion demons aren't going to kill themselves, you know.

unless that's a talent you have that you haven't revealed yet. perhaps you can be unbearably peppy in the general vicinity of said demons and they'll cease to exist of their own accord? it's worth a shot.

**ODK** · 04-19-2012, 07:00 PM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Words, like, totally escape you right now. You're pretty sure you just exploded and were sucked into a hole of NOTHING but you're not sure. Entire civilizations rise and fall before your eyes. Horrible twisted visages curl their way across the netherscape, laughing with a billion tongues, on fire.

Originally Posted by Medea

> Compare current situation with that fantasy novel a blonde like you HAS NOT RECENTLY READ.

man this is just like that novel you read where you, like, exploded and hurtled through a horrible interdimensional hellscape WAIT NO ITS NOT

Originally Posted by Mibbs

Jump into the pool

y-you'd love to if you weren't slicing like a horrible shrieking flailing wet fish through the soggy places of reality

Originally Posted by Pemm

THIS THREAD IS GLORIOUS

SUMMON ELDRITCH WEAPONS FROM BEYOND THE PALE

AAAAaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Originally Posted by Lurkmeister

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche: KILL GOD
Specifically, an interstellar star god.

oh look at that

oh wait you have company. Your small, wet, fragile tiny brain somehow manages to comprehend it

Originally Posted by OrangeAipom

PUT SOME CLOTHES ON YOU BITCH

YOU COULD FREEZE OUT IN THE WHITE VOID

Originally Posted by Armok

> Girl: find more suitable attire.

oh my god you are super underdressed for this right now

**CzBacklash** · 04-19-2012, 07:02 PM

>Ask the rather dashing fellow what the fuck is going on.

**PersonPerson** · 04-19-2012, 07:06 PM

Steal mustache man's drink.

**Bloddyredcommie** · 04-19-2012, 07:07 PM

Nietzsche: Take pity on this underdressed and clearly inexperienced dimensional traveler by directing her towards a reality that will not instantly kill her.

**Solaris** · 04-19-2012, 07:57 PM

please land somewhere safe
please land somewhere safe
please land somewhere safe
please land somewhere safe
please land somewhere safe

**Varkarrus** · 04-19-2012, 08:47 PM

Nietzsche: Turn into a crocodile with the head of an ostrich then go MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP and implode.

**pikajens** · 04-19-2012, 08:49 PM

Gradually relax during the journey between dimensions

**saddestsad** · 04-19-2012, 09:59 PM

GORDITO GTFO

**Mibbs** · 04-19-2012, 10:02 PM

Nietzsche: hit on allison

**thetoastking** · 04-19-2012, 10:10 PM

>run into freddy mercury?

**ODK** · 04-20-2012, 12:12 AM

Originally Posted by CzBacklash

>Ask the rather dashing fellow what the fuck is going on.

eeagggugghaaaaaaa! you whimper softly

it's pretty much all you can manage

You are Freidrich Wilhelm Nietzsche.

Originally Posted by Bloddyredcommie

Nietzsche: Take pity on this underdressed and clearly inexperienced dimensional traveler by directing her towards a reality that will not instantly kill her.

Originally Posted by Mibbs

Nietzsche: hit on allison

You toff your philter of VINTAGE 1397 META BRANDY, hoping she'll be persuaded to stop that dreadful shrieking. The lass has the look of the newly traveled about her personage, despite sporting the eye of Gog Agog, an unusually cruel but particularly resourceful fellow, as you well know. No such luck. Clearly she is in a dionysian flush, perhaps caught by a fit of hysteria.

Originally Posted by Moldova in Eurovision 2011

Nietzsche: Turn into a crocodile with the head of an ostrich then go MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP MEEP and implode.

Certainly not. You are are a level 8 META-SOUL, and certainly capable of basical form stability, as any lackawit could observe. This young lady, however...

**Redux** · 04-20-2012, 12:15 AM

Allison: Feel the effects of not being a level 8 META-SOUL

**ODK** · 04-20-2012, 12:17 AM

Originally Posted by pikajens

Gradually relax during the journey between dimensions

Perfect. You suppose you'll offer her some advice.

God is Dead, you say, simply, savoring the dark fire of the meta-Brandy and the beautiful bloody slash of the infinite ahead of you. Already her destination is materializing around you, inch by inch.

I was wrong to stop there, you continue, first, because this is common knowledge now. God died at the moment of His creation. I have slept in his corpse.

You take another draft.

But the real question, you say, and this is the real ringer, is what happens to God's house after he dies? Do the mice and the rats and the pitiful insects take over? Who keeps all the clocks running? Who cleans all the windows and oils all the door hinges? Who makes the tea?

Who is living in our poor deceased God's house now, my young friend?

**ODK** · 04-20-2012, 12:19 AM

Originally Posted by Solaris

please land somewhere safe
please land somewhere safe
please land somewhere safe
please land somewhere safe
please land somewhere safe

Hmmph. It appears the young lady has disappeared, to her destination, and has been replaced with Shrödinger's Cat.

You HATE that damn beast.

You wonder...

...Where did she go?

**98714123340** · 04-20-2012, 12:19 AM

If you keep screaming your going to lose your voice.

**PersonPerson** · 04-20-2012, 12:43 AM

Let's be the girl again.

**Pemm** · 04-20-2012, 01:01 AM

Allison: Discover R'lyeh.

**Bloddyredcommie** · 04-20-2012, 01:10 AM

Nietzche: Try to ignore cat as you continue to gaze into swirling chaos of the infinite realities.

When that fails, throw something at it and hope it goes away.

**Lurkmeister** · 04-20-2012, 01:10 AM

Allison: arrive at a place where you can rest, even if only temporarily. Preferably a library, or somewhere you know, but any place without sorority demons would be nice. And without tentacles.

Ed · 04-20-2012, 01:11 AM

The library sounds good.

**Mibbs** · 04-20-2012, 01:30 AM

Antarctica

**Godbot** · 04-20-2012, 04:00 AM

Originally Posted by Ed

The library sounds good.

EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SCREAMING

> I dunno, some kind of desert landscape themed after the bottom of the ocean? Is that too much?

**Varkarrus** · 04-20-2012, 07:28 AM

She landed in the World With Nothing But Shrimp

**Askia** · 04-20-2012, 08:31 AM

in the streets

**Solaris** · 04-20-2012, 08:32 AM

THE MOON
Pretty Fields where there is a Totally Sane Person waiting for her

**Bloddyredcommie** · 04-20-2012, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by Solaris

THE MOON
Pretty Fields where there is a Totally Sane Person waiting for her

Pretty Fields where Theodore Roosevelt is on Safari for demons.

**cryptidWrangler** · 04-20-2012, 08:57 AM

>Home.
>Wherever that may be.

**Jacquerel** · 04-20-2012, 09:37 AM

a quiz show

**ArcusofBrambles** · 04-20-2012, 11:23 AM

Am I the only one who thought Gordito from Dr. Mcninja when I first spotted Friedrich? It's probably just the mustache...

>Friedrich: Take a bet on whether Schrodinger's cat is dead or not. Win and lose at the same time like you always do.

**Varkarrus** · 04-20-2012, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by ArcusofBrambles

Am I the only one who thought Gordito from Dr. Mcninja when I first spotted Friedrich? It's probably just the mustache...

Nope!

**ODK** · 04-20-2012, 05:01 PM

[UPDATED DAEMONIAC, IT NOW HAS STUFF IN IT, WILL UPDATE MORE THIS AFTERNOON

EDIT: AFOREMENTIONED UPDATES DELAYED DUE TO DIABLO III BETA

]

**Anthano Zasalla** · 04-21-2012, 12:11 AM

Awww shoot gotta suggest for this great adventure

> Allison: Remember, a cool cat always lands on its feet.

**Doorhandle** · 04-21-2012, 06:39 AM

Ditto, my swirly friend

>Eye: So, what IS a metasoul anyway? Souls within souls? A.T feild? Fourth-wall damaging powers?

You have plenty of time to exposit, your unwilling host is still flipping out.

**sovereignRobotics** · 04-21-2012, 07:14 AM

Originally Posted by Anthano Zasalla

Awww shoot gotta suggest for this great adventure

> Allison: Remember, a cool cat always lands on its feet.

> Allison: Be a cool cat. No, be the coolest cat. The cool cat. It is you-
Aww who are you kidding you are flipping the heck out and you will probably land face first
> Portal shenanigans: End suddenly
> Allison: Fall flat on face.

+1 reader who will probably just lurk around throwing wierd suggestions into the ring.
Of course, that's the best kind of reader.

**distainfulCatalyst** · 04-21-2012, 09:31 AM

>Land in a disgraceful heap in the center of some nutjob's pentagram in some universe that has yet to invent indoor plumbing.

This is an awesome adventure.

**Varkarrus** · 04-21-2012, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by distainfulCatalyst

>Land in a disgraceful heap in the center of some nutjob's pentagram in some universe that has yet to invent indoor plumbing.

This is an awesome adventure.

Yes to both.

**ODK** · 04-21-2012, 01:35 PM

LOADING [...]

in the process of LOADING you cycle through INFINITE ALLISONS. The process is quite disconcerting.

Originally Posted by Doorhandle

>Eye: So, what IS a metasoul anyway? Souls within souls? A.T feild? Fourth-wall damaging powers?

You are briefly the Eye of Gog Agog

You don't really have time to explain this right now as you are busy navigating your host through the dimensional folds, but you make a mental note to touch on it later. Maybe she can be taught SOMETHING.

**PersonPerson** · 04-21-2012, 01:43 PM

Land already... Please?

Be a mime.
[Or whatever the black n white one is.]

**Mibbs** · 04-21-2012, 02:10 PM

end up as an allison without a dye job

**98714123340** · 04-21-2012, 02:32 PM

be aviator allison

KILL SIX BILLION DEMONS (NSFW) - NOW A FRUITY WEBCOMIC

Re: YOU ARE A GIRL

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